Talk To Them
During the hustle and bustle of everyday life, sometimes we find ourselves not finding the time or opportunity to actually TALK to our significant other.
- Tell him/her that you LOVE them - Unashamedly and unblushingly, without consequence, without embarrassment, look at them and tell them how much you love them. Think about how often you do this to your spouse or partner. How often do you look into their eyes and tell them how much you love them. How cherished they are. How deep your love goes for them? You may feel silly at first but I can assure you this kind of communication can allow your relationship to fully come into bloom.
- Tell him/her that you RESPECT them - This is a term that is never really discussed when talking about relationships. But, in my opinion, you can't have love without respect. Look at your partner, spouse etc. and tell them that you respect them. And that you respect what they are doing and how they contribute to your family.
Sometimes there may not be enough time in the day to really show how much you love your partner. The seasons of life that we all go through ebb and flow. Some seasons are manic while others are all about rest and recuperation. During those busy seasons find ways to creatively show love to your spouse.
- Write small notes to each other in the shower or on the mirror in the bathroom - My beautiful Husband and I use a kids crayons set that is meant to write on bathroom walls and doors and that easily erases with water. We leave each other notes, play tic-tac-toe and drawings. Just fun things that make our mornings a little bit sweeter.
- Write notes for lunches - Especially during the early months of Amelia's life I would leave notes for my Husband in his lunch box. It was super quick and simple to keep a small post-it pad and a sharpie in the lunch prep area and write a note each evening before going to bed.
- Small gifts - When I know my Husband is having a long week at work, I pick up a chocolate bar for him (he has a strong sweet tooth) and surprise him with it on his pillow when he comes home from work. Something small and inexpensive to just make him smile.
A simple thing like including your partner or spouse in day-to-day decision making can make such a massive difference and really show them that you love them AND that you value their opinion.
- Lunch and dinner menu - Include your partner or spouse in the decision making process for meals. Ask them what they feel like for lunch or dinner this week. Search for a new recipe together to make menu planning more enjoyable and more of a family activity.
- Ask them their opinion - You may just be used to making all of the decisions regarding your home or family and just assuming your partner is on board with you. Stop for a second the next time you make a decision on, say, purchasing new plates or houseware items, and ask for your partner's opinion about the purchase. What do they think of the color and design? Do they prefer something else? Talk about it.
Sitting down with a hot coffee or a cocktail when it's just you and your partner is glorious. Sit together and talk about your future. Day-dream about what is to come and find some dreams that you can put down onto paper and jump into action. Take some time out of your week to do just this. Don't discuss the kids or work or anything else - just on dreaming about what is to come.
Put Down Your Phone
I am a massive offender of this, I constantly have my cell phone attached to me. I love social media and (especially) Instagram where I have made so many wonderful friends. I love sharing and I love being there to help other people. However, when my Husband comes home I need to practice putting away my phone more often and focusing on just him, and just us.
- Just 5 minutes - A fantastic piece of advice I once read (not sure where, I'm afraid) is that when your spouse or partner comes through the door at the end of the day, or the first time you see them after your day is complete, shut down everything even for just 5 minutes and focus solely on them.
- Shutdown time - Decide on a time that you will shut down your electronics (both of you!) so you can focus more on each other. As much as we all love technology, it really has put itself between us and the people we love who are right in front of us. Take some time out and just shut down.
Water your Flowers
A relationship has much in common with a beautiful flower. A flower has to be tended to, watered and loved regularly to fully allow it to grow and blossom into its truest potential. The same goes with a relationship. It requires commitment, compassion, empathy and most importantly love to continue to have it blossom throughout all seasons of your life.
Always with hearts in my eyes,